Wednesday, 24 May 2017

My Storm...

I sometimes wonder about the power of a storm...the electricity of it all...the power it has to influence our mood and mindset. I love storms...the smell of the rain, the crash of the thunder, the strike of the lightening bolts across the sky. I dislike the destruction it leaves behind....but I somehow relate to the storms...I feel like I live in a constant storm...beautiful and destructive....sometimes there is silence before the storm, other times there is no calm...just a raging storm.

Last night we had a good storm. The power went out just as Kevin and Kai returned home. I just wanted to cry, I knew how the evening would unfold and I wanted to do everything to fix it for him, but I couldn't...

Kai has been struggling the last few days, more vomiting, punching the side of his head again, protecting his ears from all sound...no power means no white noise for him. No air conditioner, no fan, no beat music....just silence...and pure hell...he sat outside for a while, my heart was breaking for him..I didn't want him alone, but it is where he is safe from sound and scent.

Kevin finally convinced him that the generator would make enough noise by his bedroom window that it would be safe to come inside, we would again sit outside so he could be comfortable (I secretly wanted to be with the storm)

It didn't take long, Kai was fast asleep...this is the only thing that relieves his stress and discomfort. I was happy for his sleep and for our break...we could relax, we had no idea when the power would be back on and we needed to be prepared for a long difficult night...

We were some of the lucky folks who had power restored by 8:00pm. We crossed our fingers it would stay on for the night...and it did. We are so thankful for the crews out working in the storm all night.

He woke up this morning happy, full of love and hugs...my Kai guy, my cuddly one...the one we miss...the one we so desperately want back.

I know it's a long road, there will be bumps along the way, there will be storms...but the feeling of relief when the storm passes is just the most amazing thing, there is a silver lining to that storm...I'll find it one day. Until then, I will brave the storm...I will embrace the thunder and lightening that is my child...and I will love every moment of his ever changing mind.

I would step into his shoes and take it all away from him in a heartbeat...he is my hero 💗 and I love him just the way he is.

Until next time 💕

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